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“We’re all a little broken. It lets the light in” – Author Disputed
Have you ever felt completely broken? Perhaps you’ve felt a little ripped apart, as we all do at times; isn’t it so difficult to stay motivated in these cases?
While neither I nor Quote Investigator can figure out if it’s definitely Hemingway, Leonard Cohen or someone else who first mentioned these words, it’s a quote I absolutely love. It’s one I found while browsing Pinterest and it’s a great reminder that we’re all a little broken. In fact, we gain strength and character every time we “break” a little.
5 Ways To Feel Better When You’re Broken
It’s often tough to find the solution (or even a temporary remedy) when you’re feeling emotional.
Here are five ways that you can try to get yourself on the “mend” when you feel defeated:
1. Persevere. Try, Try Again
As much as it hurts to feel totally defeated, it’s always great when we can see a sliver of hope. Remember that the first time we fail is just that (and the second time, and however many times it takes us).
Failing is simply a way to find what you want in life, as I usually say! I certainly know that without having failed so many times, I would never have known what career path I truly wanted to follow.
If you missed my post about perseverance, it features a quote from a co-founder of Twitter. His book, too, is a quirky little reminder that we jump to conclusions when we see someone else having “sudden” success. Remember to look at the whole story, not just the moment of success.
2. Remind Yourself of Little Pleasures
One of my favourite little books is the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” (and it’s all small stuff) series. On the first few pages, it points out some of the actions we take and feelings we have that we convince ourselves are justified.
Now, this book has been around for ages, but I think the message is excellent (albeit difficult to follow).
Personally, I find it easier to remind myself to treat myself to small pleasures – an evening off, a super long walk with my pup, gourmet chocolate, to name a few. Remembering to “not sweat the small stuff” is more challenging for me!
3. Remember the Power of Friends
Venting to a friend, although a simple solution, is often a welcome recourse even when they can do little about it. Whether they’re a childhood friend who feels like family or someone you met a couple months ago, explaining your story can help.
Don’t forget to ask others if they’d like to share their pain, too. Actually, I have a personal example from last week.
While I wasn’t planning to divulge my latest drama with Spanish paperwork to the person who offered to listen, I’m glad I did! Even a few minutes of conversation was enough to calm me down a little and allow me to regroup, and focus on the positive.
One of the most difficult parts of feeling broken is asking for help.
Sometimes, we tend to see it as a sign of weakness, but it is not. Now, I can’t pretend to be an expert on asking for professional help, but even an hour or two with those you are close to can help. I’ll admit that I talk to some of my closest friends on WhatsApp or Skype due to our distance – but it always helps. Always.
We take on so much in our fast-paced world that we need to remember to ask for help when we need it. You’d be surprised how often I’ve gotten help I didn’t even ask for. (Which reminds me to offer help whenever I can, too).
5. When You’re Ready, Write Down Your Learning Experience
Okay, so this one’s a tough one. Usually, it takes me a good year before I can truly recognize the learning experience after a heartbreak or total defeat. Through reflection (and lots of writing!), I usually manage to find it.
Re-setting your personal goals, and taking what you learned from your “broken” experience to create new ones, helps, too.
Buy yourself a colourful notebook to make this process fun. I definitely recommend it! (This fun one on Amazon with quotes on every page looks pretty cool!)
How To Let The Light In
The author of today’s quote is exactly right – the place we’re broken “let in light” and allow us to shine.
Of course, I advocate looking at the positive side of the break, but I realize how incredibly difficult it can be. Whether it’s a heartbreak, athletic defeat, or a personal goal you didn’t quite crush, finding the “light” and learning from it can be a challenge.
If we’ve got to #5 in the list above, we’re on the right track here. Personally, I find writing helps in making this discovery. I was also surprised to find that a summer of painting on canvas also helped me overcome one of my struggles. There was something so calming about taking my own photography and turning it into a canvas for my wall!
What do you do to “let the light in”? How do you learn from your most challenging experiences? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below 🙂
Have a lovely and productive week!
P.S. Photo lovers, the photo for today’s post (and poster!) is one I took at the Sagrada Familia here in Barcelona.
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